Many years ago I was asked to give a talk about contentment. At first I was taken aback. You see, in my mind, I had connected contentment with complacency. How many of you have made the same mistake? I say mistake, because I quickly realized that contentment and complacency do not have to be the same thing-- far from it.
Webster defines complacency as self-satisfaction especially when accompanied by unawareness of actual dangers or deficiencies. Many times we connect laziness with complacency.
I have come to believe that contentment on the other hand is about being satisfied with your life right now. AND you can be content with your life right now and still want and strive for more
So you can be content with your life even if you have not attained all your dreams and goals yet. And actually, it is very important that we learn to be content with our lives right now, because we will always have more dreams and goals. The old phrase, enjoy the journey, cannot be reiterated enough times. As a recovering Type A personality, I know the importance of that as much as anyone.
So how do you become more content with your life right now? There are many ways. Some of which are at a more spiritual level, and I'll talk about that more in the future.
But there are also small, doable, action steps that you can take to be more content with your life almost immediately.
The truth is most of use tolerate and put up with way too many things in life - from clutter in our homes and offices to people treating us badly to our own anxieties and thoughts that keep us awake at night. And when we tolerate things, it drains us.
If you get up in the morning and continuously dread something or someone related to work, that too is pretty obvious. There are smaller things that are less obvious that also have an effect on our level of contentment, but we may not even notice the effect they are having. For example, I may not notice what is bothering me as I walk through my office, but find I am irritated. There is a stack of papers on the floor. I can choose to tolerate it and it is a toleration because I find that I get irritated by it - i.e. in this case continue to step over it or around it, or I can choose to buy more file cabinets or re-organize to make space for it.
What you are putting up with keeps you from being fully yourself and evolving quickly as a human being. It also drains you, so that no matter how much you put into your cup, the toleration-hole lets it all drain you - thus affecting your level of contentment to varying degrees depending on the level of the toleration.
I encourage you to start noticing what you are tolerating and start eliminating those things from your life. Start with the small things. You will be amazed at how much better you can feel almost instantly.
I have created a program to help you understand better why you tolerate things, to identify your toleratiions, and a process to start zapping them. To learn more visit www.igetpaidtodothis.com/content.htm
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
Monday, July 03, 2006
Why Empty the Trash?
I recently viewed Dan Millman's movie, "The Way of the Peaceful warrior". It is an excellent movie and I highly recommend it.
In it, Socrates, the wise mentor, tells Dan to "empty the trash". By this he means to empty his head of all the chatter that goes around in it. This chatter keeps us from being present in the moment.
The chatter can be positive or negative. More often, it is negative. It can be the words in our head that tell us why we can't do something. Or it can be our minds rehearsing what we want to say to someone or how we want to handle it (over and over again). Or it can be creative ideas about what we want to create next in our lives. All of it, keeps us from being in the present.
When we are not present in the moment, we are not in the flow. The busyness in our minds, keeps those things we desire from flowing through us.
So how do we empty it? I'll start with the positive thoughts, because quite truthfully, that is the easier of the two.
If you have creative ideas flowing in your head, empty them into something that will capture them for later use. I have gotten into the habit of carrying around a digital pocket recorder as I've learned that inspiration can happen anytime, anywhere and when I can capture those thoughts, I can quit thinking about them and go back to being in the present. Then I can unload them from my brain or recorder for use later. The interesting thing about that, is I usually don't have to play back the recorder to remember what I was thinking. By saying them into the recorder, I set the intent to remember them and my brain just does.
If you are rehearsing in your mind, the words you want to say to someone, go ahead and get those out. Talk to them, call them or send them an email. If you are angry, you may want to journal all those negative thoughts first as a way of getting them out of your head. Usually when we are pointing anger at someone else, the deeper anger is with ourselves. Once you have written all the angry thoughts, you may find yourself in a more rational place to see what and who you are really angry with.
When going about your everyday life, the best way to stay out of your head is to focus on what is going on around you. It is too easy to be drive a car, walk or even sit at a meal with someone on autopilot and not be present. How many times have you driven somewhere and wondered how you got there? Or sat with someone and realized you didn't hear a word they said.
Make a conscious attempt to be more aware in your life of everything that is around you. Notice the people and what they are doing, the expressions on their face; notice the scenery - the textures, the sounds, the smells; notice your food and how it tastes as you are chewing it. Notice. When you notice what is in front of you, you are not mired in the trash in your head.
When you are in conversation with someone, listen to what they have to say, rather than rehearsing in your mind how you are going to respond. Then respond to them from the present moment. It will make you a much more interesting conversationalist and your conversation will flow. And you will still get your point across - that is, if it still relevant.
When you find yourself going away in your mind, bring it back by looking at the person in the eyes or noticing their features. If on the phone, remind yourself to be here now and start listening. If you missed something they said, be honest. Say, I'm sorry my mind wandered, can you repeat what you just said. It happens to all of us. If you just nod and say uh huh, they will often know you are not present anyway.
Before going to bed at night is a great time to "empty the trash". Keep a journal next to your bed and use it to dump all your thoughts. Be careful not to go on a negative tirade. If you find yourself having a pity party, ask yourself how you can change that or have more of what you want and then write some more.
If you wake up at 3:00 in the morning and find the thoughts are keeping you awake. Pick up the journal or go to your computer and write. That is what I am doing this morning. It is a great time to let the creative thoughts flow without interference from the outside world.
These are just a few ways to "empty the trash". They are not new concepts, but ones that can easily be forgotten as we get caught up in the busyness of our lives. So let this serve as a reminder to be in the present moment as you go about your day.
The main point is that when you are present in the moment, things can flow. When you empty your head onto paper, the thoughts flow. When you are out in the world and consciously living, things flow with you and through you. Not to mention, that life is more fun.
You also perform better when you are in the moment. Can you tell when someone is giving a speech and they are in their head trying to remember what they were going to say vs someone who is giving a speech and you feel like they are talking to you. The second person is in the moment, being with you rather than being in their head. Try being with people in your life and see what happens.
In it, Socrates, the wise mentor, tells Dan to "empty the trash". By this he means to empty his head of all the chatter that goes around in it. This chatter keeps us from being present in the moment.
The chatter can be positive or negative. More often, it is negative. It can be the words in our head that tell us why we can't do something. Or it can be our minds rehearsing what we want to say to someone or how we want to handle it (over and over again). Or it can be creative ideas about what we want to create next in our lives. All of it, keeps us from being in the present.
When we are not present in the moment, we are not in the flow. The busyness in our minds, keeps those things we desire from flowing through us.
So how do we empty it? I'll start with the positive thoughts, because quite truthfully, that is the easier of the two.
If you have creative ideas flowing in your head, empty them into something that will capture them for later use. I have gotten into the habit of carrying around a digital pocket recorder as I've learned that inspiration can happen anytime, anywhere and when I can capture those thoughts, I can quit thinking about them and go back to being in the present. Then I can unload them from my brain or recorder for use later. The interesting thing about that, is I usually don't have to play back the recorder to remember what I was thinking. By saying them into the recorder, I set the intent to remember them and my brain just does.
If you are rehearsing in your mind, the words you want to say to someone, go ahead and get those out. Talk to them, call them or send them an email. If you are angry, you may want to journal all those negative thoughts first as a way of getting them out of your head. Usually when we are pointing anger at someone else, the deeper anger is with ourselves. Once you have written all the angry thoughts, you may find yourself in a more rational place to see what and who you are really angry with.
When going about your everyday life, the best way to stay out of your head is to focus on what is going on around you. It is too easy to be drive a car, walk or even sit at a meal with someone on autopilot and not be present. How many times have you driven somewhere and wondered how you got there? Or sat with someone and realized you didn't hear a word they said.
Make a conscious attempt to be more aware in your life of everything that is around you. Notice the people and what they are doing, the expressions on their face; notice the scenery - the textures, the sounds, the smells; notice your food and how it tastes as you are chewing it. Notice. When you notice what is in front of you, you are not mired in the trash in your head.
When you are in conversation with someone, listen to what they have to say, rather than rehearsing in your mind how you are going to respond. Then respond to them from the present moment. It will make you a much more interesting conversationalist and your conversation will flow. And you will still get your point across - that is, if it still relevant.
When you find yourself going away in your mind, bring it back by looking at the person in the eyes or noticing their features. If on the phone, remind yourself to be here now and start listening. If you missed something they said, be honest. Say, I'm sorry my mind wandered, can you repeat what you just said. It happens to all of us. If you just nod and say uh huh, they will often know you are not present anyway.
Before going to bed at night is a great time to "empty the trash". Keep a journal next to your bed and use it to dump all your thoughts. Be careful not to go on a negative tirade. If you find yourself having a pity party, ask yourself how you can change that or have more of what you want and then write some more.
If you wake up at 3:00 in the morning and find the thoughts are keeping you awake. Pick up the journal or go to your computer and write. That is what I am doing this morning. It is a great time to let the creative thoughts flow without interference from the outside world.
These are just a few ways to "empty the trash". They are not new concepts, but ones that can easily be forgotten as we get caught up in the busyness of our lives. So let this serve as a reminder to be in the present moment as you go about your day.
The main point is that when you are present in the moment, things can flow. When you empty your head onto paper, the thoughts flow. When you are out in the world and consciously living, things flow with you and through you. Not to mention, that life is more fun.
You also perform better when you are in the moment. Can you tell when someone is giving a speech and they are in their head trying to remember what they were going to say vs someone who is giving a speech and you feel like they are talking to you. The second person is in the moment, being with you rather than being in their head. Try being with people in your life and see what happens.
Friday, June 02, 2006
How to Quadruple Your Results
I am not one who is generally big on formulas for success as I believe everyone is different and has to find what works for them. So I surprised myself when a formula for success came to my mind this week. I've seen this formula work for me and for current participants of the "In the Flow "Coaching group. Basically it works for the people who work it (when they do).
Imagine that?
So here is the formula.
Visibility + High Vibration = Success Quadrupled. In shorthand formula this would be V1 + V2 (squared) = S4 (quadrupled).
Basically it means that if you get visible in some way so that people have access to your information AND you and you raise your vibration (energy or mood ) to a higher level the results will be approximately 4 times as great as if you just make yourself visible or just raise your energy.
So let's break it down into the individual components. What does visibility look like for you?
Of course it will depend on what you do for a living (we'll use career as an example here although it can certainly apply to relationships and other things as well) and it depends on what you want -- what is the outcome you desire?
So if you work in a corporation and desire a promotion, visibility might look like keeping those senior to you aware of your accomplishments, ideas, progress etc. If you are in business for yourself, visibility could take a lot of forms such as telling people what you do, public speaking, writing a column, newsletter or even a blog :), running advertisements, wearing a t-shirt with your company name, press releases and on and on. Depends on your business, your budget, your personal style and your talents. Regardless of these things, there are ways for everyone to make themselves visible.
One way I make my website more visible is my having a google ad. Another way I have become visible is through The Dream Movie. Neither of these require me to leave my home office and yet I am visible. I also write the Living Your Dreams newsletter, hold teleseminars, do public speaking from time to time and more.
How do you or can you make yourself visible? Think about a way that brings a smile to your face. Then it will raise your energy. Rather than something you "should" do which will lower your energy.
That leads me to Component 2 which is energy or vibration. Your vibration is basically a reflection of your mood and emotional state. So if you are sad or depressed, frustrated or angry, your vibration will be low and you will attract more things at that low energy level. If you are happy, content, excited, joyful, etc then of course, your emotional state is higher and you will attract more of the things you desire.
Now don't get me wrong. I am not saying you need to be or should be or could be happy all the time. We all experience the whole range of emotions and have ups and downs. They key is to stay in those lower energy or lower emotions for shorter and shorter periods of time rather than getting stuck there. What keeps us stuck there is our thoughts. If we are focused on everything stinks, the world is a dangerous place and how terrible things are, we will get more of those thoughts and experiences.
Okay, I could go on and on here. I didn't mean to make this a primer. The simplistic action step here is to focus on things that raise your energy. In my In the Flow coaching group, I ask everyone to look for wins in their day. Wins can be as simple as I had a great breakfast or Joe smiled at me. They do not have to be big. When we celebrate the small wins, we raise our energy and then we start bringing in bigger wins. It is law of attraction at work. Note: This is just one example. There are lots of other ways to raise your energy that I will discuss over time and different methods work for different people at different times.
So let me give you some examples to sum this up. I run a Google ad all the time. The ad does not change and my website doesn't change all that much. People click on it all the time. But when it results in the most sales/new clients is when my energy is high. When I moved into my new house in December, my energy was so high because I was excited about my new house, that new clients came pouring in from the Google ad. (and at a time of year, that is normally slow).
Lately I have been making a concerted effort to focus on my wins and celebrate them, and the number of people clicking through from my website has increased exponentially. This is what I mean by Visibility + High Vibratation = Success Quadrupled or V1 + V2 = S4 .
I have seen the same thing happen for people in the group who have played the game full out. They are attracting opportunities, people and dollars at a higher rate than they normally do and are having a ball doing it.
So if you are not attaining the things you desire right now, look at these two components. How high is your visibility and what is your vibration? Take steps to improve both and see what happens.
In the flow,
Stacey
PS. To learn more about how to be in the flow, attend my complimentary teleseminar below.
How to Be in the Flow More Often Than Not
FREE Teleseminar
June 14, 2006 @ 2:00 EST
What does it mean to be in the flow? Whether or not you are in the flow affects your prosperity, how long it takes for your dreams to come true, and the enjoyment of your every day life. Put simply, when your energy is high, all of those things happen easier. Most people have experienced the flow as something that happens to you. In this session, we will talk about how to consciously create more energy, flow and abundance in your own life. You will learn some steps to take away to put in your life right now
To sign up for this no fee class click here
Imagine that?
So here is the formula.
Visibility + High Vibration = Success Quadrupled. In shorthand formula this would be V1 + V2 (squared) = S4 (quadrupled).
Basically it means that if you get visible in some way so that people have access to your information AND you and you raise your vibration (energy or mood ) to a higher level the results will be approximately 4 times as great as if you just make yourself visible or just raise your energy.
So let's break it down into the individual components. What does visibility look like for you?
Of course it will depend on what you do for a living (we'll use career as an example here although it can certainly apply to relationships and other things as well) and it depends on what you want -- what is the outcome you desire?
So if you work in a corporation and desire a promotion, visibility might look like keeping those senior to you aware of your accomplishments, ideas, progress etc. If you are in business for yourself, visibility could take a lot of forms such as telling people what you do, public speaking, writing a column, newsletter or even a blog :), running advertisements, wearing a t-shirt with your company name, press releases and on and on. Depends on your business, your budget, your personal style and your talents. Regardless of these things, there are ways for everyone to make themselves visible.
One way I make my website more visible is my having a google ad. Another way I have become visible is through The Dream Movie. Neither of these require me to leave my home office and yet I am visible. I also write the Living Your Dreams newsletter, hold teleseminars, do public speaking from time to time and more.
How do you or can you make yourself visible? Think about a way that brings a smile to your face. Then it will raise your energy. Rather than something you "should" do which will lower your energy.
That leads me to Component 2 which is energy or vibration. Your vibration is basically a reflection of your mood and emotional state. So if you are sad or depressed, frustrated or angry, your vibration will be low and you will attract more things at that low energy level. If you are happy, content, excited, joyful, etc then of course, your emotional state is higher and you will attract more of the things you desire.
Now don't get me wrong. I am not saying you need to be or should be or could be happy all the time. We all experience the whole range of emotions and have ups and downs. They key is to stay in those lower energy or lower emotions for shorter and shorter periods of time rather than getting stuck there. What keeps us stuck there is our thoughts. If we are focused on everything stinks, the world is a dangerous place and how terrible things are, we will get more of those thoughts and experiences.
Okay, I could go on and on here. I didn't mean to make this a primer. The simplistic action step here is to focus on things that raise your energy. In my In the Flow coaching group, I ask everyone to look for wins in their day. Wins can be as simple as I had a great breakfast or Joe smiled at me. They do not have to be big. When we celebrate the small wins, we raise our energy and then we start bringing in bigger wins. It is law of attraction at work. Note: This is just one example. There are lots of other ways to raise your energy that I will discuss over time and different methods work for different people at different times.
So let me give you some examples to sum this up. I run a Google ad all the time. The ad does not change and my website doesn't change all that much. People click on it all the time. But when it results in the most sales/new clients is when my energy is high. When I moved into my new house in December, my energy was so high because I was excited about my new house, that new clients came pouring in from the Google ad. (and at a time of year, that is normally slow).
Lately I have been making a concerted effort to focus on my wins and celebrate them, and the number of people clicking through from my website has increased exponentially. This is what I mean by Visibility + High Vibratation = Success Quadrupled or V1 + V2 = S4 .
I have seen the same thing happen for people in the group who have played the game full out. They are attracting opportunities, people and dollars at a higher rate than they normally do and are having a ball doing it.
So if you are not attaining the things you desire right now, look at these two components. How high is your visibility and what is your vibration? Take steps to improve both and see what happens.
In the flow,
Stacey
PS. To learn more about how to be in the flow, attend my complimentary teleseminar below.
How to Be in the Flow More Often Than Not
FREE Teleseminar
June 14, 2006 @ 2:00 EST
What does it mean to be in the flow? Whether or not you are in the flow affects your prosperity, how long it takes for your dreams to come true, and the enjoyment of your every day life. Put simply, when your energy is high, all of those things happen easier. Most people have experienced the flow as something that happens to you. In this session, we will talk about how to consciously create more energy, flow and abundance in your own life. You will learn some steps to take away to put in your life right now
To sign up for this no fee class click here
Welcome to In The Flow
I named this blog In The Flow, because I love when I am in the flow and love seeing all the miracles that happen for myself and my clients when we are in the flow. I believe that being in the flow is an art to fine tune rather than something that just happens to us once in a while. Flow is something we allow into our lives as a result of how we are being in the world. And learnng to allow our life to flow is really an outgrowth of our personal and spiritual development.
I enjoy exploring and testing new ideas to see if they contribute to flow. I will share those ideas here and hope you will test them out in your life and give me feedback. It is also a place where you can share your experiences of being in the flow with others.
Those of you who do not know me yet, may be wondering what I mean by "in the flow." Very simply when you are in the flow, life is easier, people smile at you, and treat you well by doing things like pulling you out of a long line and putting you in the front of the line, things that you desire show up out of "thin air", synchronicities and coincidences become common place, and you smile and laugh a lot because life is good.
Life is full of ups and downs and always will be. The goal is to be in the flow more often than not.
And that will be the topic of conversation here, at least for a while.
In the flow
Stacey
P.S. Here is a quote I found about coincidences that I really like - "Coincidences are the pen names of grace for those who wouldn't recognize it otherwise."-Chris Marker
I enjoy exploring and testing new ideas to see if they contribute to flow. I will share those ideas here and hope you will test them out in your life and give me feedback. It is also a place where you can share your experiences of being in the flow with others.
Those of you who do not know me yet, may be wondering what I mean by "in the flow." Very simply when you are in the flow, life is easier, people smile at you, and treat you well by doing things like pulling you out of a long line and putting you in the front of the line, things that you desire show up out of "thin air", synchronicities and coincidences become common place, and you smile and laugh a lot because life is good.
Life is full of ups and downs and always will be. The goal is to be in the flow more often than not.
And that will be the topic of conversation here, at least for a while.
In the flow
Stacey
P.S. Here is a quote I found about coincidences that I really like - "Coincidences are the pen names of grace for those who wouldn't recognize it otherwise."-Chris Marker
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